


The Funeral

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, F/F, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calliope attends a human funeral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Funeral

You stand in the largest room in this building. A church, Roxy had long ago explained to you. A place where humans worshiped beings that were, she had mused, a little like you. Of course in reality, cherubs were not the angelic servants of a creator deity, but merely cosmically powerful aliens. Roxy had still always called you her “magical space angel” though, so who were you to argue?

People line the benches that fill the room, but all stand in a human ritual of respect while a man approaches the podium at the front of the room, overlooking a closed casket. An earlier ritual featured the box open, Roxy’s body on display for visitors to pay their respects. Next, you were told, would come the final ritual: the box containing your deceased wife would be buried in the ground.

You still aren't sure as to the purpose of this final burial phase, but humans place a great deal of importance on traditions like these, so you have chosen to humor them.

Dirk nods to the assembled crowd. They begin to sit, and you follow suit. The human knack for organizing and following commands never ceases to amaze you.

Once the assembled are seated, he begins. “Roxy Lalonde was my first friend. When we were kids, we were inseparable. As we grew older, we spent less and less time together. We attended different schools in different cities, and our interests diverged. But still, every time we spoke, it was like we were back in grade school, close as two people could be. We could go months with no interaction, and then pick up the conversation we were having the last time again as if no time had passed at all. And when we both began our work at the Bureau of Extraterrestrial Services, we became inseparable again.

“But no matter how close we are to one another, we can never truly know the contents of someone else’s heart. I was there during Roxy’s darkest time. I saw her fall apart and nearly destroy herself, and I saw her pick herself back up and become stronger than I ever knew a person could be. And I was there on her happiest days. I witnessed her first meeting with Calliope, and their wedding two and a half years later.

“It seemed like her life was only getting better, and she was only getting happier. Why she would take her own life so suddenly, I guess none of us will ever know. But I hope she has found peace from whatever demons she wrestled with in life. I hope she finds peace.

“Roxy Lalonde was my first friend, and she was my best friend. She will be missed more than she ever could have known.

“Thank you.” Dirk steps down and puts his hand on your shoulder as he passes you.

You rise and make your way to the podium. Your voice is solemn. “I would like to begin by thanking each and every one of you for being here this morning to show your love and respect to not only Roxy, but to each other.” You gesture to the room.

“When I first came to this planet, the concept of love was as alien to me as I was to all of you. But Roxy Lalonde changed all of that. She showed me what love is. She shared with me her family and friends. She gave me a home here with all of you. A planet to call my own.

“When we were married, we vowed to be together until death do us part, but I like to think that, in a way, she will always be with me.”

******

_Years in the past, but not many…_

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

uu: YOu ARE JUST. SO uNBELIEVABLY. STuPID.  
TG: oh  
TG: u havnt faded away yet?  
TG: i thought you lost already  
uu: I AM SLIPPING. AS WE SPEAK. DO NOT WORRY. YOuR BULBOuS POSTERIOR.  
uu: I JuST. HAVE ONE LAST THING. TO SAY TO YOu.  
uu: AND THEN YOu WILL. NEVER HEAR FROM ME. AGAIN.  
TG: thank all that is holy  
TG: maybe she can finally get some sleep now  
uu: SHuT uP. AND LISTEN. TO THE IMPORTANT THINGS I AM GOING TO TELL YOu.  
uu: MY SISTER. IS NOT WHAT YOu THINK SHE IS.  
uu: I AM BEING PuLLED. INTO HER. AND THERE IS NOTHING.  
uu: SHE IS EMPTY. OF HATE.  
TG: yeah shes not a shit for brains like u  
uu: NO. YOu ARE STUPID. ABOuT CHERuB BRAINS.  
uu: WE ARE SuPPOSED TO HATE. BECAuSE WE ARE. A SuPERIOR SPECIES.  
uu: WHEN WE HATE SOMETHING. WE BRING IT. CLOSER TO OuR LEVEL.  
uu: BuT SHE DOESN’T CARE. ABOuT ANYTHING. OR ANYONE. BECAuSE SHE IS BROKEN. AND CAN’T HATE.  
TG: shes learning to love instead  
TG: something youll never understand  
uu: SHE IS PRETENDING. TO LEARN YOuR. *LOVE*.  
uu: I WOuLD KILL ALL OF YOu. IF I COuLD.  
uu: BuT SHE WILL DO WORSE.  
uu: YOu WILL BEG FOR DEATH. WHEN SHE IS THROuGH. WITH YOuR SPECIES.  
TG: are u done?  
uu: YES.  
uu: GOODBYE FOREVER.  
uu: I HOPE YOu DIE. LOOKING INTO. HER EYES. AND SEE ME THERE. LAuGHING. AT HOW STuPID. AND uGLY YOu ARE.

undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

******

_In the present…_

“Though I grieve her loss, and will never understand why she felt the need to end her own life,” you lie, “her memory, and the lessons she taught me, will be with me always, and will live on in our beautiful daughter.” You smile at baby Rose, held in the front row by her grandmother, for whom she was named.

When you recounted the tale of happening upon Roxy’s body, you had carefully edited out the part of the story where she had attempted to also poison the child. You would prefer not to raise any questions about Rose’s remarkable resilience, or why a mother would even want to harm an innocent baby. Not before little Rose was ready to bring them to their knees.

Humans sure did have a knack for following commands.


End file.
